I Wrote a Book — And Something Unexpected Happened

It still feels strange to say the words “I wrote a book.”
Not because the book is overly academic or a deep philosophical text on the meaning of money, but because it is something far more personal. It’s a real-life exploration of our relationship with money, part biography, part behavioural finance, and part practical guide for anyone who wants to take control of their financial future.

The book follows my own journey: the mistakes, the lessons, the emotional highs and lows, and how life experiences shape the way we think, feel and behave around money. That was always the aim — to help people take control of money, rather than feel controlled by it.

But something happened that I didn’t fully expect.

People started talking.

Not just about the book, but about their own relationship with money, openly, honestly, and without embarrassment. Conversations that had previously felt uncomfortable suddenly felt possible. And for me, that has been the most rewarding part of the entire experience.

Why Talking About Money Matters

For years, I have sat in rooms with financial advisers, clients, friends, and families where the numbers are discussed, but the feelings behind those numbers often are not.

Money isn’t just pounds and percentages.
It’s upbringing.
It’s fear.
It’s aspiration.
It’s identity.
It’s security.

Since publishing the book, I’ve had conversations with (or heard stories about):

• People who are incredibly disciplined and in control.

• People who have more than enough money but are afraid to spend it because of their childhood experiences.

• Couples trying to navigate the classic spender vs saver dynamic.

• Those who feel pressure to keep up with others.

• People who earn £150,000 and feel poor.

• People who earn £30,000 and feel in control.

These real-life stories have been reminders of something vital: you cannot understand someone’s financial decisions unless you understand their story.

This is where many financial advisers, through no fault of their own, struggle. Technical expertise is essential, yes. But empathy, listening, and understanding? That is what changes lives.

Start at the Beginning: Your Budget Is Your Truth

One message I come back to again and again, whether someone earns £30,000 or £150,000, is simple:

Know your budget.

Not the version in your head.
Not the “I think I spend about…” version.
Your real budget.

Because lifestyle creep is real. As we earn more, we spend more, nicer holidays, a bigger house, a newer car, convenience purchases. None of this is inherently bad, but it can quietly derail long-term plans if left unexamined.

Your budget isn’t restrictive — it’s empowering.
It shows possibility.
It provides clarity.
It reveals whether your money aligns with your values.

And only when you understand where your money goes today can you begin planning the future you want.

Future Plans: Your Journey, Not Anyone Else’s

There is enormous pressure in society to follow a certain financial script:

• Own a house

• Pay off the mortgage

• Save for retirement

• Build wealth

• Don’t spend too much

• Don’t get it wrong

But the world is changing.

For some people, homeownership is essential.
For others, it isn’t the priority it once was.
Some want to retire early.
Some want to work forever.
Some want adventure.
Others want stability.

There is no single “right” plan, only the plan that fits you.

One person’s perfect financial plan is someone else’s nightmare.

A good financial plan should be built around identity, purpose and values, not comparison or pressure.

Rethinking Retirement: It’s Not About the Number

I often talk about retirement in terms that go far beyond investment strategies or safe withdrawal rates.

I’ve met people who live happily on £1,000 a month…
…and people who feel stretched on £5,000 a month.

The amount matters, of course, but it is not the hardest part.

The hardest part of retirement is identity.

Retirement is not a finish line.
It’s not a one-day transition.
It’s a new job without a job title.
A blank canvas.

The questions that matter are:

• What will give your days structure?

• What will give you purpose?

• What will you wake up for?

• How will you stay connected, healthy, fulfilled?

Most people are far more prepared financially than they are emotionally. And this is where thoughtful conversations and guided exploration make all the difference.

Walking With People Through Real Life

I have sat with people facing redundancy.
I have walked into job centres.
I have experienced the benefits system.
I have seen money insecurity from the inside, even if only for a short period.

I haven’t experienced deep debt, homelessness or long-term crisis. But even a small taste of how fragile life can be changes your perspective forever.

It makes you listen more deeply.
It makes you more careful with advice.
It makes you more human.

And this is the lesson I now share with financial advisers:

Your tools, your qualifications, and your cashflow models are important, but they are not what builds trust.
Trust is built through empathy, shared values, and genuine care.

The Book Was Just the Beginning

So yes, I wrote a book.
But the book is just one part of something bigger, a movement, in a sense, toward honest conversations about money.

If people feel safe enough to talk about money…
…they can change the way they live.
…they can break patterns.
…they can rewrite stories.
…they can build the future they actually want.

And if Money Wise UK stands for anything, it is this:

Better conversations lead to better decisions, and better decisions lead to better lives.